Every day I scan the headlines to find the most outrageous, the most ridiculous or the most newsworthy items that may deserve comment from yours truly.
Sometimes, I’ll have to look quite a while and nothing seems worth writing about. Other times a story will scream so loud at me that I have to put in earplugs.
Such is the case today with a story from National Review titled “Bacon Isn’t Even That Good.”
Admittedly this is a website that in recent years has prided itself on being wrong about almost everything, especially its rabid hatred of President Trump for actually fighting for a conservative agenda at the same time he pokes liberals, RINOs and pontificating phonies in the eye. (I get the feeling that Jonah Goldberg and the NRO Never Trumpers have no favorite among the Three Stooges, but especially not Moe the eye poker.)
Anyway, you can imagine my surprise when I read the anti-bacon screed by Katherine Timpf. I’ll admit I had never heard of her before, so give her credit for drawing attention to herself with a crazy-ish headline. For a while, I even thought her column might be satire in the manner of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” but if so, who is her intended audience –the three people who don’t like the greasy, sticky essence of pig on a plate? Or the Never Trumpers who think anything normal people like must by definition be deplorable?
I have no answer, but as I read her essay I became convinced that you could substitute Trump’s name wherever she castigates bacon, and you would get pretty much the same intended effect. Try it, with these quotes, slightly amended to convert animal references to the political sphere:
- “The weird little TRUMP fetish that our culture has developed over the past decade has gotten out of control.”
- “I’m sorry, but there is absolutely no reason why TRUMP … should exist, let alone be so popular that [he’s] sold out” at rallies across the country!
- “Let’s all be honest here for a second, okay — TRUMP? Not even that good. Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad. … What I’m saying is, TRUMP is fine, but … objectively not so good that we need TRUMP [spray-on tanning lotion].
- “To me, it seems obvious that TRUMP-mania actually has nothing to do with how TRUMP tastes [talks] or smells [governs]. Rather, people like TRUMP (and insist on shouting from the social-media rooftops how much they like TRUMP) because they are trying to prove something about themselves.”
Well, you get the idea. It goes on like that for quite a bit longer. You can substitute Trump for bacon on your own in the rest of the article, and see what results you get. The funny thing is that National Review may have actually found a topic where they can offend more people than with their Trump insults. Isn’t there a T-shirt that says “Bacon is my president!”
Come to think of it, it might be interesting to read National Review articles by substituting BACON wherever it says Trump. I’m not positive but I think it might make some of the more inane political articles make sense.
ABOUT HEARTLAND DIARY
Frank Miele has spent four decades in the news business and now offers conservative commentary to counter the left-wing bias in the national media. If you enjoy reading these daily essays, I hope you will consider purchasing one of my books. They are available through the following Amazon links. My new book — “The Media Matrix: What if everything you know is fake?” — shows that Fake News has been around for years. The “Why We Needed Trump” trilogy tackles the politics of the last two decades: Part 1 is subtitled “Bush’s Global Failure: Half Right.” Part 2 is “Obama’s Fundamental Transformation: Far Left.” Part 3 is “Trump’s American Vision: Just Right.” As an Amazon Associate, I may earn referral fees for qualifying purchases through links on my website. Also consider subscribing to Heartland Diary on YouTube by clicking here for News Every Conservative Can Use. My goal is to reach 1,000 subscribers.