Tucker Carlson’s show Monday night on Fox needs to be burned on a titanium disc and put in a time capsule. It was that good.
Heck, it ought to be shot into space as evidence for far-away alien civilizations that no matter how stupid people appear to be if you watch CNN or MSNBC, that there is indeed intelligent life on planet Earth! “Please don’t pulverize us just because you had to watch a live stream of Rachel Maddow for the last 10 years!”
Carlson was on fire Monday in the wake of the announcement that the Mueller investigation had turned up zero evidence of Russian collusion after wasting two-plus years following breadcrumbs that were dropped by Eleven (oops! I mean Hillary Clinton) in hopes of luring the entire country into the Upside Down, a dark world where she is the queen mother and Donald Trump is leathered up with Stormy Daniels doing exotic tricks for her highness.
Carlson started out by delivering a masterful dressing down of the mainstream media for baying at the moon for the last two years in the belief that the man in the moon was Vladimir Putin and that he was sending signals to Donald Trump by blinking in rapid succession while taking shots of vodka. OK, maybe Carlson didn’t say that, but he delivered some other lovely insults nearly as good!
Afterwards, Carlson had a conversation with Donald Trump Jr., who got to take a victory lap on TV. No indictments. No collusion. Just a Democratic conspiracy to destroy a great president.
Then Carlson had a brilliant conversation with Glenn Greenwald, the equally brilliant journalist who was blackballed off MSNBC for being too liberal. Greenwald explained how both CNN and MSNBC have befouled themselves by cozying up to the intelligence agencies and carrying the jock straps of John Brennan, James Comey and James Clapper.
Probably the highlight of the night though for sheer karmic delight was Tucker’s analysis of the Short Happy Life of Michael Avenatti as a political consultant and erstwhile presidential candidate. Tucker and guest Mark Steyn enjoyed coming up with new names for the former Creepy Porn Lawyer in the wake of his arrest for extortion, failure to pay income taxes and bank fraud. I believe they settled on Creepy Porn Extortionist.
They didn’t mention that his former client Stormy “Ooh LaLa” Daniels had dumped him last month and put out a press release letting everyone know she was not surprised that her one-time lawyer in a shakedown scheme against Donald Trump now himself faced 100 years in jail.
All this and a Trump re-election campaign in 2020 that is now a cakewalk! Ain’t life grand?
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