(You probably heard about the affirmative action recruiting videos put out by the Central Intelligence Agency. Here’s a good summary from Darren Beattie’s excellent website, Revolver.news. If “Saturday Night Live” still did comedy, you can bet that there would be a spoof of this “woketopia” nonsense … although it would be hard to top the original for belly laughs. These people are idiots.)
The bad news is the CIA hates you, and exists to ruin your country. The good news is the CIA is also a joke.
A series of excruciatingly embarrassing recruitment videos developed and distributed by the CIA expose the terminal rot at the heart of America’s “intelligence” services. Over the past weekend, one of those videos went viral for how perfectly it featured the new woke and extremely cringeworthy CIA.
Even as it grows more powerful, the CIA grows more pathetic. As it strips the freedoms of Americans, it grows more feeble and unworthy of respect. And as it grows more ambitious in trying to overthrow foreign foes, it grows ever more ripe for collapse itself.
Remarkably, the video above isn’t the product of a one-off fit of wokeness. It’s simply the most ridiculous in an entire series of videos. Revolver will review each in turn, but it’s worth beginning with this one.
Revolver might call the left-wing buzzwords “too many to list,” except that we’re going to list them all right here.
“As a daughter of immigrants…”
“I am perfectly made.”
“I can wax eloquent on complex legal issues in English, while also belting ‘Guayaquil de mis Amores’ in Spanish.”
“I am a woman of color. I am a mom. I am a cisgender millennial who has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.”
“I am a walking declaration, a woman whose inflection does not rise at the end of her sentences, suggesting that a question has been asked.
It’s just relentless. Without ever meeting this woman (who we’ll call ‘Mija,’ since she isn’t named in the video), one can effortlessly imagine her scheduling a completely pointless meeting, and then dragging it on 30 minutes longer than necessary so she can “wax eloquent” on legal issues and show off her power as a “walking declaration.”
“I am intersectional, but my existence is not a box-checking exercise.”
Fact check: That’s exactly what her existence is, and it’s entirely a fate of her own making. Strip away the scaffolding of buzzwords, deprive this woman of her “Latinx” and “cisgender” labels, and what would be left? Only the mutilated remnants of a well-rounded human person.
“I did not sneak into CIA. My employment was not and is not a result of a fluke or a slip through the cracks.”
This, on the other hand, is completely accurate. Mija’s employment isn’t a “fluke,” it’s the product of deliberate affirmative action, a decades-long project by the CIA to “empower” and elevate those like her. The ones who “slip through the cracks” are those qualified, patriotic Americans who want to serve their country without any superseding political grievance.
“I used to struggle with imposter syndrome, but at 36 I refuse to internalize misguided patriarchal ideas of what a woman can or should be.”
Translation: “I’m not very good at my job and I know it, but I have internalized a political narrative that my shortcomings are just a byproduct of the “patriarchy.”
“I am tired of feeling like I’m supposed to apologize for the space I occupy rather than intoxicate people with my effort, my brilliance.”
Yass kween slay!
To maximize the humiliation, Mija spends the whole video dressed up in a cartoonish warrior feminist outfit, like a reject from Suicide Squad.
Watch out, this woman might be coming to overthrow a government near you.
This would all be bad enough as an autobiographical YouTube video posted to an audience of eight subscribers. But it’s much worse. This is an actual recruiting video by the CIA. America’s intelligence agency wants to harvest many more applications from people exactly like Mija. People with “generalized anxiety disorder.” People who dismiss their own incompetence as “imposter syndrome” so they can embrace a comfortable mediocrity. People who view it as their job to “intoxicate” people with their magical “brilliance.”
Now here’s the most horrifying part of all: The CIA made ten of these videos. All of them are proudly featured as a playlist on the CIA’s YouTube channel. And while Mija’s might be the most cringeworthy, each is painful in its own way.
Read full story at Revolver.news.
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